GASLIGHTING IN PARENTAL ALIENATION DURING DIVORCE: A FAMILY LAW PERSPECTIVE BY - RIYA BHATIA
GASLIGHTING
IN PARENTAL ALIENATION DURING DIVORCE: A FAMILY LAW PERSPECTIVE
AUTHORED BY - RIYA BHATIA
OP Jindal Global
University
Jindal Global Law School
Abstract
Parental alienation is a
confusing and controversial issue. Here one parent incites a child to hate or
display unwarranted hostility towards the other parent. This paper traces the
legal, psychological, and social dimensions of parental alienation. This
encompasses looking at the recognition it gets as emotional abuse, along with
the intricacies of its diagnosis concerning the legal realm. Proponents argue
that parental alienation is disrupting the emotional health of children and
hence requires judicial interpretation. Conversely, critics argue that in the
absence of any credible definition, it gives leeway to parental alienation
claims. Such claims further vitiate the legitimate abuse allegations that occur
in the family court rulings. In conclusion, this paper goes to suggest furthermore
articulate diagnostic protocols and structured guidelines for legal
professionals as well as mental health practitioners.
I.
Introduction:
Divorce is a rampant issue
in contemporary India with significant percentage of couples ending their
marriages each year. Often, such couples carry a considerable amount of
animosity towards each other especially if children are involved. This acute
hostility does not only ruin their interpersonal dynamics, but it also takes a
toll on the emotional health of their children who bear the brunt of the situation.
Unfortunately, in most of these cases, the bitterness towards the other parent
comes into play which encourages the aggrieved parent to do something that they
wouldn’t do otherwise. In such cases a
parent manipulates the child to further their cause. This is sometimes called
gaslighting which ends up changing the perception of the alienated parent for the
child by taking away what’s real and distorting it so that a false story
evolves leading to distrust, dislike, and even complete rejection of the
alienated parent. This tactic not only coverts the reality from the child but
also results in long term emotional and psychological impact. Gaslighting is a
form of emotional manipulation whereby someone tries to get the other person to
deny reality. Although parental alienation deeply affects family relationships
and the well-being of the children, it remains mostly unrecognized within
Indian Law. This lack of recognition underscores the urgent need for increased
awareness and legal reforms to better address this pressing issue.
II.
Reasons for Parental
Alienation:
The intention behind
gaslighting is to convince the child that the other parent is untrustworthy or harmful.
Parental alienation is often confused with Parental Alienation syndrome (PAS) a
concept introduced in 1985 by Dr Richard Gardner, an American psychiatrist. [1]PAS
describes a situation that usually arises during child custody disputes, where
one parent manipulates the child into hating another parent[2].
It is important to note that PAS doesn’t apply when there’s been abuse or
neglect by the alienated parent. In cases of pas the hated parent hasn’t done
anything to warrant the child’s animosity rather, the negative feelings are the
result of other parents’ manipulation. At times a child might distance
themselves from the parent who initiated the divorce, blaming them for the
family’s breakup. Though these feelings explain the child’s detachment, it
doesn’t necessarily fall under the definition of parental alienation. In cases
of alleged parental alienation, custody evaluators look for several distinct
signs involving both the targeted and alienating parents. A key indicator is
the child’s deep persistent hatred for the alienated parent, often using the
language that echoes the alienating parents’ words. The child’s feelings are
one sided, brimming with hostility and lacking any recognition of the targeted parent’s
qualities. Even though the child might seem well adjusted in other areas, any
mention of the targeted parent triggers strong feelings of anger and
resentment. The key question that arises is what drives a parent to engage in
parental alienation? Why do they resort to such harmful tactic? In majority of
the cases this tactic is a result of deep-rooted anger, resentment, and a
desire for control over the other parent, particularly in the aftermath of a
divorce or custody dispute. The alienating parent may feel threatened by the
relationship the child has with the other parent, and hence try to undermine
that bond to strengthen their own influence. [3]This
behavior is frequently motivated by a need for revenge, insecurities, or belief
that a child’s loyalty is indictive of their value as a parent. In certain
cases, the alienating parent may be unaware of the emotional harm they are
inflicting on the child, prioritizing their own feelings above the child’s
welfare. The alienating parent adopts myriad number of strategies to win the
child over. Indulging them with luxuries and meeting their every demand. However,
alongside these materials comforts, they in unison plant negative thoughts
about the co-parent, suggesting that the other parent is incapable of
fulfilling the child’s needs or desires. This develops a toxic dynamic where
the child feels torn between the affection for the alienating parent and doubts
the co- parent abilities.
III.
Implication in Custody
Disputes:
The case Ramneesh Singh vs
Sugandhi Aggarwal[4] provides
an insightful discussion on the concept of parental alienation, particularly
regarding its implication in custody disputes. The appellant was accused of
parental alienation against the mother of the minor children. Ultimately, the
family court found no evidence that the children’s welfare was compromised
during their time with the appellant. Furthermore, after interacting with the
children years later, the judge noted that they expressed no preference for
either parent, suggesting that there were no indications of parental
alienation. This ruling emphasized the need to assess behaviors impacting
children’s perceptions rather than labelling situations as parental alienation
in family law. Parental alienation is
considered a form of emotional abuse that can have severe, long-lasting effects
on a child’s well-being. Studies show that children subjected to parental
alienation often face difficulty in building and sustaining healthy
relationships, experience low self-esteem, and struggle with loss of
self-respect. They may also feel overwhelming guilt, anxiety, and depression
over their breakdown of their relationship with the alienated parent. This
emotional distress can manifest into impulsive behaviors, such as aggression or
delinquency, and further lead to academic disruptions. Family therapists
commonly recognize parental alienation as a parent-child relation problem, as
noted in the American psychiatric association’s diagnostic and statistical
manual and mental disorders[5].
Highlighting the need for professional intervention to help these children
cope.
Complexity of Evidence: Critics contend that
Parental Alienation is particularly difficult to prove due to the convoluted
nature of emotional manipulation, which frequently conceals the clear evidence
of alienation.[6]
This complexity thus leads to misinterpretations of the interactions between
parents and children. For instance, a child’s expressed dislike for a parent
may arise from genuine grievances or trauma rather than manipulation. Once the
allegations of parental alienation are made, disproving them can be equally
daunting. A parent accused of being an “alienator often struggles to defend
themselves against claims that are subjective and emotionally charged. The
stigma attached to this label can complicate legal proceedings and skew public
perception, especially for mothers, who may face additional societal biases.
While critics of parental
alienation raise valid concerns regarding the misuse of the concept in custody
disputes. This paper argues that acknowledging parental alienation is essential
for understanding the complex emotional dynamics affecting children in the
situation of divorce. The behavior exhibited by the alienating parent are not
mere subjective feelings but can have objectively detrimental effects on a
child’s mental health.[7]
This kind of emotional abuse is often invisible to teachers, judges in court
and even social workers. This abuse is particularly difficult to identify
because it occurs within the child’s mind, often without outward signs. The
child may not confront their parents or question the reality they’ve been
presented with, making it hard to detect. On the surface, the child may appear
completely normal, talking and behaving as usual, but deep down, they are
deeply hurt and confused. The emotional damage remains hidden, which makes it
nearly impossible for others to recognize that the child is experiencing
parental alienation. This internalized pain can fester over time affecting
their emotional and psychological well-being in ways that may not be
immediately visible. When the children are manipulated to reject one parent,
they may experience anxiety and low self-esteem. This internal conflict can
lead to long term psychological consequences. Reinforcing the need to recognize
Parental Alienation as a serious issue and take it into consideration during
disputes.
IV.
Parental Alienation in
India:
In India parental
alienation is not recognized nor is it considered as an offence. Since Parental
Alienation is not recognized in the (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of
mental Disorders), it leads to skepticism about its validity.[8]
Critics argue that Parental Alienation lacks empirical support and may be used
as a legal tool to manipulate custody outcomes. Further proving parental
alienation requires extensive evidence, including expert testimony,
psychological assessments, and witness statements, which would place an undue
burden on an already overburdened legal system. This would result in delay in
justice. Also, the cost of involving mental health professionals and conducting
thorough investigations to prove parental alienation can be very high. The
families involved in such cases face significant financial strain, especially
if the case drags on for years. To add on, there are also lack of judicial
guidelines. Without clear guidelines, judicial discretion could lead to
inconsistent rulings. Judges might struggle to interpret alienation behaviors
accurately, resulting in subjective judgments that do not always align with the
child’s best interest. Historically, Indian courts have favored mothers in
custody battles, which could lead to difficulties in recognizing parental
alienation when the mother is the alienating parent. This bias prevents fathers
from successfully proving alienation and regaining custody. The societal norms
also have a role to play. In India family dynamics prevent parental alienation
from being recognized easily. The notion of a parent intentionally alienating a
child does not align with traditional views on family structure and parent
child relationship, leading to resistance in parental alienation being accepted
as a legal issue.
Crucial Need for Legal
Recognition:
On the other hand, when
parental alienation takes place, there is a lot of harm to the child’s
well-being. By formally recognizing parental alienation the Indian Legal system
can ensure that courts prioritize the mental health and the well-being of
children in custody disputes. Recognizing parental alienation as a form of
psychological abuse allows the court to intervene early and mitigate the
long-term damage. Legal recognition leads the court to order interventions such
as therapy and counselling, that helps in preventing the detrimental effects of
parental alienation on the child. As per Section 17 of the Guardians and Wards
Act [9]and
Section 13 of the Hindu Minority and Guardianship Act, [10]the
court makes custody decisions based on the child’s best interests. If the child
is mature enough to express preference, the court may consider it. However, in
cases of parental alienation, this can be harmful. A child influenced by an
alienating parent may choose to live with them, rejecting the alienated parent.
The decision, shaped by manipulation, can be detrimental to the child’s
emotional well-being and is not truly in their best interest. This reinforces
the need to consider parental alienation as in India. Further, acknowledging
parental alienation ensures that both parents can maintain a healthy
relationship with the child, preventing one parent from losing access unfairly.
Legal recognition of parental alienation would deter parents from using
manipulative tactics to gain advantage in custody disputes. Once established as
a legal issue, alienating parents could be held accountable for their actions,
potentially facing legal penalties or changes in custody if they continue the
alienating behavior. While parents who have been unfairly alienated from their
children would have legal recourse to address this harm. [11]Remedies
would include restoring visitation rights, modifying custody arrangements, and
initiating rehabilitation programs to rebuild the parent -child relationship.
Many countries, including Brazil and Mexico, have already recognized parental
alienation as a serious issue, with some even treating it as a criminal
offense. Accepting parental alienation in India would align the country’s legal
system with international standards, enhancing the protection of children’s and
parent’s rights.[12]
V.
Conclusion:
In conclusion,
acknowledging parental alienation within India’s legal framework is essential
and of importance to protect children from the emotional damage that is being
caused to them by manipulative actions in custody battles. The legitimate fears
of its misuse along with alienation are offset with the promise of keeping the
child away from the psychological damage it may incur and the cause of fairness
in custody disputes. That said, the key would simply lie in developing a
balanced legal framework that recognizes parental alienation but provides
safeguards against its possible misuse. This is done by guidelines that are
appropriate for it, and then expert involvement, along with judicial training,
to ensure that parental alienation is handled with the care it requires to lead
to a fairer and more child focused legal system. Legal acknowledgement would
protect the sanctity of battles over custody, maintaining a healthy
relationship between both parents and children while marking alienating parents
for their malpractices. To prevent misuse, its important to have strict
consequences for false accusations and clear rules on how evidence is collected.
Even though proving parental alienation can be tough, the emotional harm to
children if we do nothing is much worse than the risk of people abusing system.
Ultimately recognizing parental alienation will pave the way for a more just
and child centric legal system that prioritize the best interests of children.
[1] Holly Smith, 'Parental Alienation Syndrome: Fact or Fiction? The Problem
with Its Use in Child Custody Cases' (2016) 11(1) UMass L Rev
[2] Lewis, 'Parental Alienation' (National Centre for State Courts, 2017) https://www.ncsc.org/__data/assets/pdf_file/0014/42152/parental_alienation_Lewis.pdf
[3] Ibid
[4] Col. Ramneesh Pal Singh v Sugandhi Aggarwal [2024] 6 S.C.R. 259; 2024
INSC 397 (Civil Appeal No 6137 of 2024) (08 May 2024)
[5] Lewis, (n 2)
[6]Griffiths
Law PC, 'What is Parental Alienation & How to Fight Back' (2024) https://www.griffithslawpc.com/blog-articles/parental-alienation/
[7] Sullivan, M., & Kelly, J. 'Assessing for Alienation in Child Custody
and Access Evaluations' (2023) 296 Family Court Review 201
[8] Apex Advocates, 'Why India Needs to Recognise the Existence of Parental
Alienation (PA) and Classify It as an Offence' (2024) https://apexadvocates.in/why-india-needs-to-recognise-the-existence-of-parental-alienation-pa-and-classify-it-as-an-offence/